So. This whole "I feel like I spend half my time at the health center and my leg still hurts" thing has definitely brought out some stuff that I would've been more comfortable not knowing. (Apparently, for instance, my patience for dealing with problems that refuse to improve is precisely 4 MONTHS. That's it. Then I start flipping out. And wanting to write like, 10 blogs a day.)

But it's taught me a lot about myself.





Like the fact that, deep down, my Freudian Id is a real piss. Albeit an easily distracted one:


Dr. Orthopedist: [casually, in response to a question] Oh, you may just have a touch of bursitis.

Me: (No, really. Just a touch. Just a little kiss of bursitis. Like the bursitis fairy happened to flit by as I was sleeping, and paused just long enough to sprinkle some bits of inflammatory disaster where my thigh meets my hip. STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE YOU'RE MARY POPPINS. MY LEG HURTS. Oo, is that hand sanitizer? Can I have some?)


But out loud I just said, "Oh."






And the fact that I tend to trust doctors who are like me:


Me: So why do you ask on the admit form whether or not people use non-steroidal anti-inflammatories on a daily basis?

Dr. Radiologist: Because we like to know if people are already very sensitive to pain before we go stabbing their joints with needles.

Me: Well played.

[Kat gathers her hospital-issue gown and walks off to get stabbed with big needle.]









...yeah, I actually do feel a little better now.

Best case scenario...


Dr. Orthopedist: Hi there, I'm Dr. Orthopedist! :::reaches for a handshake::: I've been looking over your chart. It looks like we're seeing you for some hip pain?

Me: Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's bursitis.

Dr: Been giving you problems long?

Me: Since August.

Dr: Right.

Me: So I think magic is in order.

Dr: You mean a cortisone shot?

Me: Yeah. Magic. That's what I said.

Dr: Seems perfectly sound.

Me: Thank you. Shall I point to the area?

Dr: Please.

:::Kat indicates painful area on hip. Dr. O. thrusts long hypodermic needle into right illiopsoas bursa and pushes the plunger down, Pulp Fiction style:::

Hip: All better! :::twinkle smiles:::

Me: There, now. That is quite a bit better. You've been very helpful.

Dr: No worries.


:::Kat exits office, leaps, painlessly, over clinic counter and proceeds home, jogging effortlessly at 7 min per mile pace:::