I want new sneakers.
I need a new umbrella.
Jerkface is my new favorite word.
If I had a fish I'd name it Sushi.

Heh heh. I could publish that as poetry and confuse the bejeezus out of people.

Bugs really perturb me. The other morning I found a cricket in my room and was, to say the least, greatly disturbed. (Translation: There was a fair amount of yelping involved.) Have you ever LOOKED at one of those things up close? Oh, the hideousness. And the ants. As soon as it rains the ants come. I kept finding them crawling up the walls of my room. I become territorial and aggitated because there are other beings invading my turf. My solution? Ant massacre. Find where they're coming from and smoke 'em outta their holes. yeeeeehaw! ::spit:: I was thinking the best way to find the Ant Head Quarters would be to lie in wait for one of their little scout ants and then torture it endlessly until it caves. (Kat with her magnifying glass and heat lamp: Where are your reble friends NOW?!) Because I don't always have tissues or shoes available I've taken to squashing them with my fingers. Gives me a superiority conmplex. Oh, to lord my massive (relative!) size over innocent sentients! Hopefully after a while my awful wrath will serve as a lesson to them to stop bringing their friends. So that's what interesting mettle I bring to you today...who knows what could be next? Perhaps for next time I'll expound upon the virtues of the symbiotic relationshop between algae and moss....Whoa there, kids. Don't get too excited.

In other news, I've gone crazy...

At the office you're work-laden
You really sorta hate 'im
but can't ever evade 'im
He's pseudo-boss! Yeah!

Yes, folks that's right. He's everywhere. He's that guy at work that thinks you're his personal assistant when in fact, this is a gross misinterpretation of your job description. Have one? Me too. Sometimes I think I'm trapped in the frames of a Dilbert comic on in the reels of Office Space and Drew Carey. Somehow somewhere someone out there is trying to drive me crazy...and you know what? It's working for chrissakes! Most people at work think I'm pretty nice. You know, the reliable, polite sort of kid. Want to know what's really going on? Here's my next installment of Lifestyles of the Underpaid and Virtually Nameless...

Dick: So Kat, finished with that Chancellor's project yet?
Kat: I'm almost halfway through, actually, I've been working on it for a few hours straight.
Voice in Kat's Head: Yeah, you Prosimian. Thanks for the hours of enormously tedious monotony. I need them to make my intellectual life appear more interesting.
D: Only halfway? Well... :hesitant: I guess that's a little progress.
K: (is the picture of placidity)
D: Do you think you can come in this afternoon and keep going with this?
K: Actually, I have class all afternoon.
V: But I forgot, I am trapped in your void of endless servitude.
D: Well, maybe you can just come in extra early tomorrow morning then. By the way, the filing is really backed up. More hours need to be spent on that.
K: Of course. But what about this chancellor's project?
V: Was it in my job description to master the art of Asexual Reproduction so that I could divide myself endlessly and provide you with an army of peons to perform your numerous tasks at once? NO!
D: Right, well maybe you could multi-task. But that project is on the fast track, high prioritization. We need to attain that goal first and maintain that as our bottom line.
K: Right.
V: Don't start with me.
D: Now what was this your were doing?
V: Here's our chance! MOBILIZE! MOBILIZE!
K: Pardon?
D: What?
K: Lookit! Over there!
V: RUNAWAY! RUNAWAY!