Conversations that I have had this week that probably should not have taken place out loud:

1. Morning.
Leaving my apartment for the day. Pigeon sitting on the railing of my balcony.

Pigeon: Coo!
Me: COO MY ASS!!! GET OFF THE BALCONY!!!



2. Late, late night. Reheating coffee in microwave.

Mug: :::microwave whirs for a minute, then beeps:::steam rises imperceptibly from beverage:::
Me: :::grabs mug by the extraordinarily hot handle::: AAAargh! Oh... my God. WHY? would you...do this to me?!



I have one 20 page paper left to turn in, 18 papers left to comment on, and 35 finals to grade.

And I am very, very tired...