Kat:
Hi.
Post-Paper Neurosis Kat:
Like oh my god so we got these paper topics like two weeks ago and so it's sorta been in the back of my mind, and then I started it last week so I would have some time to let my ideas really ferment, you know? So I could get something really solid. I needed something good. I thought about things. I scribbled my notes. I reread passages on the bus. And while waiting for the bus. And on my breaks at work I tried to outline. The whole time walking around the library just thinking, is that coherent? Can I say that? Is there any semblence of validity to this? Is anyone going to understand this when I'm done? I scribbled some more. And then a lot more. And then I had a few pages of scribbles. And I thought about it some more. And I bit my nails. The first time I wrote it it seemed alright, until I looked over it the next day and laid some large disdainful X's through entire paragraphs, with little arrows in the margins saying constructive little things like "Fix!" And so I rewrote it again, and then I typed it and it's mutated something different...but I like it. I am happy with the final product. I am happy with the opportunity to exercise some mental agility. I am insane. I think I sprained my head on this one. Will anyone else like it?! I need the criticism but aaack...now I'm done at 11:30 and I feel like I've finished a Final exam 2 1/2 hours early and now I'm just sitting here. Biting my nails.
Don't worry. I'll be normal again by tomorrow. But I'm also meeting my grandparents tomorrow. I say meeting because they haven't seen me since I was 15 or 16 and the last time they really knew me I was 14. That was before high school. I don't even remember anything before high school. I have a vague, horrible feeling that my mom used to dress me back then. What are they going to tell my other relatives about how I've turned out? Aaaack...being judged...aaack.
Don't worry. I'll be normal again by the day after tomorrow!
Hi.
Post-Paper Neurosis Kat:
Like oh my god so we got these paper topics like two weeks ago and so it's sorta been in the back of my mind, and then I started it last week so I would have some time to let my ideas really ferment, you know? So I could get something really solid. I needed something good. I thought about things. I scribbled my notes. I reread passages on the bus. And while waiting for the bus. And on my breaks at work I tried to outline. The whole time walking around the library just thinking, is that coherent? Can I say that? Is there any semblence of validity to this? Is anyone going to understand this when I'm done? I scribbled some more. And then a lot more. And then I had a few pages of scribbles. And I thought about it some more. And I bit my nails. The first time I wrote it it seemed alright, until I looked over it the next day and laid some large disdainful X's through entire paragraphs, with little arrows in the margins saying constructive little things like "Fix!" And so I rewrote it again, and then I typed it and it's mutated something different...but I like it. I am happy with the final product. I am happy with the opportunity to exercise some mental agility. I am insane. I think I sprained my head on this one. Will anyone else like it?! I need the criticism but aaack...now I'm done at 11:30 and I feel like I've finished a Final exam 2 1/2 hours early and now I'm just sitting here. Biting my nails.
Don't worry. I'll be normal again by tomorrow. But I'm also meeting my grandparents tomorrow. I say meeting because they haven't seen me since I was 15 or 16 and the last time they really knew me I was 14. That was before high school. I don't even remember anything before high school. I have a vague, horrible feeling that my mom used to dress me back then. What are they going to tell my other relatives about how I've turned out? Aaaack...being judged...aaack.
Don't worry. I'll be normal again by the day after tomorrow!
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home