Monday, October 16, 2006

Did you know, that somtimes when you come home late at night, and your roomate's already asleep, that your iPod Shuffle, held in your hand so that the headphone cord trails out the bottom side of your fist, becomes a microphone? No, really, it's amazing. When you download that new song onto your iTunes, the one you NEED to play real loud the instant it is finished downloading, gets onto your iPod Shuffle, that Shuffle is a microphone. Can you hear the song starting? Great. There's the intro, and you're playing it cool. Putting some shirts away maybe. And you mouth the first line, right on cue. And you look down at your hand, and you're like, "what's this doing here?" Wow, a microphone. Just in time for the second line. So you take that chance, and you hold that microphone in your one hand and mouth lines three and four, making sure to pull the microphone away from your mouth in between lines and thrust your face to one side. Maybe to give your band members a wink because you are all sounding so badass. And now here's the chorus, but it's the first time, you know? So you want to understate it a little... but everyone out there knows it so well, that it's really hard to keep all of that energy under wraps amidst all of the cheering. Wait a minute...what's that over there? That's a stage, that's a stage for you to leap onto, right in your room where your bed used to be. Amazing. Now here's that chorus again, and it's important, so you want to make sure to grip that microphone with both hands, and belt that thing out like you really mean it. Make sure your eyes are closed real tight. Yeah, that's it. Good. Oh, and they love it...reach your arm out on that long note. Nice. Now for a little instrumental interlude. Hey, wow, I'll bet you didn't know that you played guitar. That's right. You gotta be sure to hop up and down, though, when the percussion comes in at key moments. And now here's a little surprise for the audience...bet they didn't know you were also a professional dancer. (!!!!!!!!!) Is there anything she CAN'T do? Oh, my God. Some kicks (beautiful!) and then...drop it like it's hot! Yeah! Now for some of that deep shoulder action...they love it! But back to business. You need to close this one out. Breathless, one knee hits the stage, then the other, and you sing out that last note, a willing supplicant to the sheer energy and badassness of your song, before you collapse, deservedly, onto the stage.

And you all know what I'm singing...

We're talking away
I don't know what
I'm to say I'll say it anyway
Today's another day to find you
Shying away
I'll be coming for your love, OK?

Taaaaake ooooooooon me, taaaaake meeeee oooooon
I'll be goooone
In a day or twooooooooooo...

4 Comments:

Blogger Kat said...

my guitar sounds like a synthesizer. what can I say?

7:57 AM  
Blogger NP said...

I <3 Kat

5:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kat is awesome. Check out this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qInBR92zEnM

7:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kat, I have never loved you more than I do at this very moment...!

8:54 AM  

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