Trips made to Murphy Hall, Administrative Headquarters of UCLA: 4
Number of campus officials consulted (via e-mail, phone, or in person): 7
Miles travelled (on foot) to procure proper documentation at said officials' behests: at least 5
Total Summer Funding Dollars Received to date: 0


Earlier today, at Murphy Hall:

Steve: :::telephone on shoulder, waiting for ringing to be answered:::
Chuck: Financial Aid Office.
Steve: Chuck? Steve here, at the Grad Division.
Chuck: Steve! Hello! What have we got?
Steve: Her record says she's been in three times already...all of her funding is set to go,but we keep posting different forms to her account, just to see what will happen.
Chuck: Well, great! What kind of odds am I looking at?
Steve: Ha! :::begins chuckling::: Bill thinks...haha!...Bill thinks 2-1 we can make her do it at least twice before she starts crying.
Chuck: Mmmhmm.
Steve: Nono! Really (haha!!...no, this is too good...) we made up this GREAT form....haahaa! oh, man...hehe...it says she has to verify the results that she listed on "Worksheet C" (pshhht! "Worksheet C!") on the department of education's site...it looks totally real! Ha!
Chuck: Okay hold on! I think this is her!
******
Chuck: Yes, Steve?
Steve: What happened?
Chuck: Ha! I told her that she had to come back when she had a lock of hair taken from her own head anytime before she reached the age of five, a complete written account of the 1983 World Series (in triplicate,) and the foreflank scales of a baby dragon from Mordor! Ha!
Steve: Ha! Oh, that IS good!
Chuck: Hahaa! And then....whoo!...And then at the very end, after I had wound her up a little, I suggested that there might be an emergency way for the GRAD DIVISION to give her a waiver for the form!
Steve: AAAHAAAHAA! Brilliant! ::over his shoulder:: Charlie! You want in on this? This is going to be GREAT!


etc., etc., etc...

:::sigh:::