Sunday, July 23, 2006

As I do not have a car, and as I have never really lived on my own in a city in which I have lived as a driver rather than as a walker, I realize that my viewpoints on this subject are not to be shared by all. But, really, in this fast-paced world there are a few truths that are applicable to all of us, maxims that are set in stone and by which we must all abide- and this, my friends, is one of them:

Pedestrians have right-of-way, Jerkfaces.

I know, I know, Mr. Middle-Aged Man in a Power Suit and Fancy Tie, that getting to work on time is important. I also realize that it is equally important that you get there in your BMW with leather interior, and that, really, to make your driving experience worthwhile, you should be downing some Starbucks coffee and talking on the phone at the same time. (If you don't multi-task, after all, you may lose your business edge...) But, Mr. Fancy Tie, would it kill you to glance up onto the corner before you try to make your right turn, just to make sure that you are not running the risk of endangering any lesser forms of life? (Old people, little kids, grad students...?)

It's alright, though. I have developed a tactic for this sort of thing. A few months ago, I would just roll my eyes and cross the street after said Jerkface completed his right turn and tooled off to the 405 to go to work. Then the eye roll turned into a slight headshake (akin to the "kids these days" headshake you might get from your grandmom...) But now I've had enough. Now I turn my head fully to the driver's direction and (this is the complex part) shoot them a look that starts out as shock and annoyance and evolves into the nuanced "I'm not angry, just disapointed" look. "I'm not angry that you almost hit me, I'm just disapointed that, with such a nice car, you don't have the acuity to see that DIRECTLY under the green light that has just appaeared, is a LARGER sign depicting A PERSON WALKING- a sign, you see, that references the possibility that there may be people who would like to cross the street." For effect, and if the offense is particularly blatant (like the driver in question actually tries to rev his engine and speed through the crosswalk before the people on his corner can start moving) I actually gesture toward the sign with my hand. The "can't you read?!" gesture.

So you just be careful, if you're driving around Westwood. Jerkfaces...

2 Comments:

Blogger candice said...

J'adore bitter Kat. C'est tres amusante.

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hell, you're learning Russian now, on top of your French? You'd make a better spy than me. I can't even read Japanese yet.

8:43 PM  

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