Wow...
So I've never ordered a Venti ANYTHING before, but this morning, as I stopped to pick up some coffee before my medieval class, these are the words I heard coming out of my mouth at Starbucks: I'll take a Venti nonfat late, please!
And it *sounded* like a good idea at the time...but wtf, mate?!
It was then that I realized I had a problem. Because a Tall, that's fine. A Grande, sure, if you're having that sort of day. But Venti? Venti= "I have lost complete control of my own body. I am a glutton. A coffee glutton. And if I feel as if I need this much fine, warm, rich smelling beverage in the morning, then there is something wrong with me." And everyone that passed me as I walked up Westwood Blvd. this morning could see that. Because I was holding a massive TOWER OF COFFEE in my hand as I walked around looking disgruntled. AND, as if that weren't enough, this monolith of to-go cups had my name written on it in black sharpie in big letters (because, naturally, the cup permitted it.) It looked like the name tag that it was. "Hi, I'm Kat. I've been sent here by my friends and family. I have a problem."
And THEN, I *still* had a hard time keeping my eyes open for the entirety of the class.
Damn. The next step is either decaf for real or learning how to shoot up coffee grounds intravenously.
So I've never ordered a Venti ANYTHING before, but this morning, as I stopped to pick up some coffee before my medieval class, these are the words I heard coming out of my mouth at Starbucks: I'll take a Venti nonfat late, please!
And it *sounded* like a good idea at the time...but wtf, mate?!
It was then that I realized I had a problem. Because a Tall, that's fine. A Grande, sure, if you're having that sort of day. But Venti? Venti= "I have lost complete control of my own body. I am a glutton. A coffee glutton. And if I feel as if I need this much fine, warm, rich smelling beverage in the morning, then there is something wrong with me." And everyone that passed me as I walked up Westwood Blvd. this morning could see that. Because I was holding a massive TOWER OF COFFEE in my hand as I walked around looking disgruntled. AND, as if that weren't enough, this monolith of to-go cups had my name written on it in black sharpie in big letters (because, naturally, the cup permitted it.) It looked like the name tag that it was. "Hi, I'm Kat. I've been sent here by my friends and family. I have a problem."
And THEN, I *still* had a hard time keeping my eyes open for the entirety of the class.
Damn. The next step is either decaf for real or learning how to shoot up coffee grounds intravenously.
2 Comments:
Kat, you always make me feel like such a bad grad student. I, too, should be sleep deprived and guzzling large quantities of coffe. Instead, I take naps and sip decaf green tea.
haha! i totally understand! my coworker and i had a conversation about this and we decided that we drink coffee because we are bored. Bored! it's how we get thru class and stay moderately coherent. pretty pathetic.
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