Usually Andrew gets up around the same time that I get downstairs in the morning (7? 7:15?) And most of the time we have breakfast together (meaning that he looks at whatever I'm having and says "hey! I want some!" So I give him some. And most of the time, I kid you not, he eats a little, smacks his lips, and says, "Hmm. Not bad, not bad.") And there's a special way to talk to Andrew, too:

Andrew: I wanna play Mario Kart!
Me: Okay, so go play.
Andrew: Can you turn it on?
Me: No, I'm making a smoothie. You can turn it on yourself.
Andrew: (angrily) But I don't WANT to turn it on.
Me: Oh, so you can't take your little finger and push the "On" button and start playing?
Andrew: (not taking any of my crap.) No.
Me: Well, I guess you can't play then, dorkface.
Andrew: YOU'RE a dork, dork!
Me: No. YOU'RE a dork.
Both: dork!

:::pause:::stare each other down::::

Both: DORK!!

:::pause:::more staring::::

Me: Dork!
Andrew: (at the same time) Dorkdorkdorkdorkdorkdorkdork!!

Me: :::under my breath, so he can't hear::: damnitt...


I hate losing...