I need some simple solution. Like, I want to check my e-mail and receive this message:

From: The Powers That Be
To: Kat
Subject: No Worries.

Dear Kat,

We have examined your file, and have found you to be particularly brilliant. We have been advised to let you know that everything will be fine. And, forigve us for the liberty, but we would be remiss if we did not mention how stunning you have looked of late. Once again, everything is fine. That is all.

Cordially,
TPTB