In lieu of any of the more serious stuff I've considered lately:

I wish that banter was like, a sport. Or at least a game show. Where exceptionally talented rhetoricians could display themselves in mediated contests of verbal wit on television. Without the dangers associated with the superstructure of a sitcom (actor kids hit puberty, second-season complacence...)

So far, I think this game show would need to have at least two events: one in which each team of banterers would be given ten minutes of offstage time to write and practice a 15-second segment of banter, and then an improv event in which single members of each team would have to instigate banter on the basis of a prop that the producers would affix to the person of their teammate (mustache, T-shirt with a wolf on it, tramp stamp...) Or, wait, an improv event in which you had to banter with a studio-hired ringer who was NOT your accustomed banter-mate. Hmm...but that might go against the intrinsic laws of banter, as bantermates pretty much have to be on intimate enough terms to insult each other comfortably. (Barring that, they should at least hate-respect each other. Which is a pretty complicated relationship structure to cultivate in the space of a few minutes lead time.)

Then a panel of judges (headed by Alec Baldwin, or NPH) would select the winners based on dryness of delivery, comedic timing, straight-facedness, creativity of expression, poise, one-upmanship, and general badassery.

And if that premise by itself proved incapable of drawing a large audience, the network could just throw in a huge pool of flaming sharks or something for a final mega-banter death challenge.

Either way, I'd watch...